Our wedding anniversary seemed like the perfect time for us to finally get out of the house together without the baby. The baby's godparents agreed to babysit him, even overnight. I was so excited!
We were going to go to dinner, watch a movie and spend some quality time together. It seemed to me that over the last 3 1/2 months that we had been parents, we had spent very little time together as a couple.
I was so excited until the day came. I was getting him ready to go out and he was laughing and playing. I even videotaped him because he was being so cute.
I was determined though to go out with my husband and spend some quality baby free time together, so we continued to get ready.
We dropped him off at his godparent’s house and everyone was excited. I felt better about leaving him. I knew they loved him and it would be good for him to spend time with them.
We left and went to the restaurant. It was the strangest feeling not having a baby. I felt naked. Worried. What if he couldn't sleep while he was there? What if he was fussy and they didn't want to call? I kept my phone out and so did my husband.
It was the first time we had truly been alone in months. Neither of us seemed to know what to talk about. Before the baby, we rarely had a lull in conversation but now, it was different. We just kept looking at each other.
Eventually, I started talking about work and we got back in the rhythm of being a couple.
After dinner, though, we decided to pick up the baby. Neither of us, could stand the thought of being away from him the entire night.
When we went to pick him up, they were still swooning over him. They told us what a great night they were having, all the cute things he did and how great of a baby he is. They reiterated that they didn't have any problems keeping him all night.
The bottom line was that he was fine, we weren't!
Maybe if there were things I had known ahead of time, I would have been more comfortable being away from him.
Mom guilt is so real!
Mom
Mom guilt is so real. This was one of the first thing I learned as a new mom. I feel guilty about everything I do and don’t do. The same is true about the amount of time I spend with him. I have a full-time job so I already concerned that I don’t spend enough time with him. Now I’m going to spend even less time with him. Is that the right decision? Although, it is a real struggle for me, I do believe it’s worth it. One day, he will be grown, away at college or getting married himself, and when that day comes, I still want to be married to my husband. I won’t still be married in 18 or 20 years, if I don’t take care of my marriage now.
Dad
As real as mom guilt is, I don’t think dads feel the same. I am a homebody in general but my husband needs time out of the house. He needs to go outside and hike and be in nature to recharge. I think as a mom I’ve learned a lot from him. I struggle so much with leaving our son and often my husband goes without me. He on the other hand is doing a much better job at taking care of himself and recharging so he can truly be the best dad and husband we could ever want.
Baby
Around 6 months of age some babies start to feel separation anxiety. If being away from their parents is something they have experienced before this may come easier for them. It is healthy for your baby to learn that you may leave but that will always come back. As the baby becomes more comfortable, it may also become easier for you to leave him alone with someone else.
What are your thoughts and experiences?