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At six months old, my son has met all his grandparents! It was incredible to see him with all of them. I loved seeing the way my parents' eyes lit up when they held their grandson.
My mother was trying to figure out if he looked more like my husband or me. My dad told me how much he reminded him of his own grandfather. It was truly magical.
Although, introducing your baby to their grandparents can be a memorable time for everyone, it can also be nerve racking.
Here are five tips to help you introduce your baby to your parents.
Establish Smooth Relationships
It can be difficult to keep the peace and to be fair to several sets of grandparents all having their own wishes and desires. As a new mom, you are already tired and overwhelmed and this can seem like unnecessary added stress.
Try to stay as positive and flexible as you can. Everything the new grandparents say and do comes from a place of love. Let them help you and support you. Be specific in what you need and want. They will appreciate the direction and feeling helpful in a way that allows them to take care of the new baby as well as their daughter.
The time the grandparents will spend with the baby will be unbelievable but make sure that the grandparents are comfortable and aren’t pushing themselves too much. If the grandparents or the baby needs a break, make sure you take it. Also, if the grandparents are on vacation they may have medication or food breaks they may need to take. Be considerate of everyone’s needs and focus on enjoying the moment and not on the activity.
New babies have a beautiful way of bringing people together that haven’t been together in years. Although, this is truly a lovely experience, it can also bring up tense feelings or feelings of jealousy among divorced parents. Try to stay positive and sensitive to other’s feelings. If necessary schedule the visits separately. Set boundaries and encourage everyone to be cordial because they will be sharing grandparents’ duties for years to come.
Advice
Although, all opinions and advice comes from a loving place and is often appreciated, setting boundaries is a must. You make all the final decisions on what is best for your child. If needed, gently remind the grandparents that they must respect your choices on how you choose to raise your child.
Accepting Gifts
Having a new baby is expensive. Grandparents want to help and sometimes that means financially. Baby gifts and needs have changed a lot over the years. It is important to ask for what you need and want and to be specific when you do so. If you have registered, make sure they know where and how to search your registry to find what they want to buy.
For some grandparents navigating a registry or shopping at a large unknown store, may be overwhelming for them. If they prefer, allow them to give you gift cards or contribute to a savings account for the baby.
Set Boundaries
I have already mentioned setting boundaries but I think it is so important. If boundaries are not set early, it can be more difficult to set them later.
Maybe your parents believe that co-sleeping is the best way and you disagree. Maybe you plan on circumcision but your parents disagree. Be very clear that although you respect their advice and are grateful for everything they have done for you, the choices you make regarding your child are yours to make.
Everyone parents differently, every child is different and every family is different.
Everyone parents differently, every child is different and every family is different. What worked for your parents may not work for you. That doesn’t make either way right or wrong, just different.
Bonding will Naturally Occur
Babies are babies. It is disappointing if the first moment your baby meets the grandparents isn’t the fairy tale you imagined but know that it does not mean their relationship will somehow be rocky or that you they won’t continue to bond and grow with each visit.
It is good to look forward to the great relationship that will eventually happen between the grandparents and the baby but it may not happen automatically or initially. It can take time and work and may not always look exactly the way you had imagined it but that doesn’t mean it will be any less beautiful.
What are your thoughts and experiences?