As adults, we have many important relationships in our lives – our spouses, our friends, our family and our coworkers. Being in happy and healthy relationships is very important for our children as they grow and develop their own relationships.
Babies and toddler watch us every day and as we are their role models. We are teaching them how to create healthy relationships.
Do as I say, not as I do, doesn’t work. They will mirror our actions not our words.
The most powerful tool you have to teach your child how to be in a good relationship is the relationship you have with your child.
Here are 12 things you can do to help your child learn the art of being in happy and healthy relationships.
Listen
As adults, we talk to our children a lot but sometimes forget to listen. Children are people too and sometimes they need to be heard. Listen to them and really try to understand what they are saying and feeling. Everyone needs to feel validated sometimes, even children.
Everyone Makes Mistakes
Make sure your children know everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. Be careful how you react when they make a mistake and focus on their behaviors and actions when correcting them. Focus more on what you child does right and less on what your child has done wrong.
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Be Honest
We tell children that honesty is the best policy but if they watch us be less than honest, they will be too. Always model honesty. Children are smart and they know when you are being less than honest with them. Remember to use appropriate language and explain things at their level but always be honest and transparent.
Say You Are Sorry
We expect our children to apologize to us when they make mistakes. We need to make sure we also apologize to them when we make a mistake. It is important for our children to know that we are also not perfect and that is okay. Apologizing is a great way to model the importance of taking ownership and responsibility for your actions.
Forgive
At some point your child is going to make a mistake you are going to be disappointed or angry. Forgive them. Use their mistakes as an opportunity to learn something new or revisit something that has already been learned.
Take Responsibility
Children need to learn how to take responsibility for their own actions without blaming others. The most effective way for children to learn this skill is for them to watch you take responsibility for your actions and words.
Allow Them to Deal with Disappointment
Unfortunately, sometimes in life disappointments happen or things don’t turn out exactly as we would have liked. It is important for kids to learn how to deal with these situations. Sometimes as a parent we must say no when we wish we could say yes, friends move away or even worse a family member passes. Even if as parents we could make their life perfect while they are kids, its important to let our children learn how to deal with disappointment and loss.
Allow Them to Make Choices
When possible give children choices and then let them live with and experience the consequences whether they are good or bad.
Accept Your Child
It is important that we accept and respect our child for who they are and as they grow, learn and discover themselves. It is not fair to them to try to make them into something they are not or push them to be someone they don’t want to be. Everyone wants to be understood and accepted just as they are, even children.
Be Polite
Say thank you to your child when he does something kind even if you asked him to do it. It will show you child the importance of not taking things and people for granted.
Compliment
Give your child genuine compliments. Being able to give and receive compliments is an important life skill.
Love Them Everyday
Show your children that you love them every day even when they are not being the most lovable. Children need to know that no matter what they do we will love them. We may not always love their actions but that doesn’t mean we don’t love them.
What are your experiences and opinion?